So you want to ban a book that your child is supposed to read in school? What are the steps that you should take first when you are thinking of banning a book? I’ve found some steps and I think it’s important that you follow them as they will provide you with the most important information.
READ THE BOOK
Have you read the book? Or are you upset because of something someone else told you about the book? Did they just pull one sentence or paragraph out of a book and tell you that the whole book is inappropriate? Don’t fall for that, if you want to make your point, you really should know what you’re talking about.
TALK TO YOUR CHILD’S TEACHER
If you don’t like what’s on the reading list for your child then talk to your child’s teacher. You can ask about the lesson plans that go along with the book. You can even share your concerns and ask if the teacher is going to address those concerns in the lesson plan. It’s usually better to know what’s going to happen in the schoolroom instead of making up things.
READ THE BOOK WITH YOUR CHILD
If you read the book with your child then you can have discussions about those things that concern you. Perhaps offensive language is being used then you can have a discussion as to why it is offensive. Perhaps sex is discussed in the book and you can use this time as a way to talk about what you feel is appropriate and inappropriate behavior for your child. (Notice how this step involves you in discussing what’s appropriate for your child and not you trying to force your standards on my child?)
ASK THE SCHOOL TO GIVE YOUR CHILD AN ALTERNATE BOOK TO READ
Did you know in most school districts that this is an option? Talk to the teacher and even the Principal to share your concerns and ask for an alternative book to read that will share the same lesson being discussed. If you’re afraid that it will make your child stick out, then read the below step.
STOP. DON’T EVEN TRY TO BAN IT
There are two reasons why I think it’s best for you to not try to ban the book. The first reason is that it will ostracize your child at a time when she/he is trying to fit into school. No one wants to be known as the kid with the crazy, narrow-minded parent. And the second reason is that you DO NOT get a say in what my child reads. Go ahead, tell the teacher your child won’t be reading the book. But you have NO right to tell me that my child can’t read it in school. And that’s what your attempt at banning a book does. It’s you trying to tell me how to parent my child and you don’t get to do that. (And let’s face it, when it comes to parenting, if you are attempting to ban a book and I’m not, then I’m the better parent because I’m not afraid of exposing my child to new and different ideas.)
Banning books silences stories is the theme of this year’s Banned Books Week. You don’t have the right to silence someone’s story. All you have the right to do is to NOT read it.
Great post! And so appropriate not only for banned books week but always.
So true. I hate it when people try to ban books when there is such a simple solution. Just don’t read it.
Good points, as always. I haven’t run into this with my kids in school, but then they go to Catholic school. I do believe that parents are their children’s first educators–but they shouldn’t try to dictate what goes on in school for other children.
You are so right. Unfortunately there are some who try to isolate their children’s minds. My Wednesday post shares some titles that people have tried to ban and it’s crazy.
I hate it when people call for certain books to be banned – good tips but I’m just glad I have never been in that position to want to ban a book that my child has been told to read.
I have never been in that position either but unfortunately it’s something that happens far too often here.
I agree with your reply to Janet – ‘don’t ban the book, just don’t read it’ simple.
Thanks, Sue.
Such sensible advice Jennifer, especially love the first one – have you actually read the book or just heard someone talk about it?? So much can be gauged by taking a diffeten5 approach, like talking to the teacher, reading the book with the child….it must happen far too often and people seem so easy to go over the top about thing so rather than thinking it through. Sharing for #mlstl
Thanks, Deb. I completely agree. There are plenty of books that I just don’t read because I don’t like the subject or agree with the premise so I don’t read them. It can be that simple.
Hi, Jennifer – As a (retired) educator, parent and grandparent, I greatly appreciate your post, your tips and your suggestions. Well said! #MLSTL
Thanks for stopping by, Donna.
It’s an interesting subject Jennifer. I struggle with some of the books that are considered “suitable” reading in schools for young teens. Banning them isn’t the way to solve the problem – maybe some intelligent discussion wouldn’t hurt though? We were quite involved in what our children read – and sent them to a Christian school which chose novels that were part of the curriculum but not quite at the contraversial end – maybe that sanitized our children’s early teens but I have no regrets. #MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂
And that’s how you do it. Be more involved in the books your children are reading.
I love the last sentence “All you have the right to do is to NOT read it”. For some reason, many nowadays feel they have to protect us from ourselves. I was so tickled when my children read I didn’t care what it was.
I know. It drives me crazy when someone tries to impose their views on me and my child.
Good points, especially the one about reading the book with your child. That’s what I did with my son.
It’s a great way to discuss any differences that you might have with the book. And funnily, the only way to know what you need to discuss is by reading the book. Thanks for stopping by Amy.
Love this! So good to know there are ‘common sense’ parents raising today’s children. I raised five sons and there’s no way I could control all of their exposure to the outside world of thoughts and ideas. This is a great one to share on FB and Twitter for #MLSTL. Thank you Jennifer
https://meinthemiddlewrites.com/2018/09/14/me-in-the-middle-of-the-world-of-walking/
Thanks for stopping by Mary Lous. I agree, it’s difficult to limit exposure but many parents try and many are successful. Just look at all the generations that follow their parents into hatred and bigotry. It’s not something that you’re born with, you are educated into it with the doctrine that was limited to support their belief.
Love, love, love this post!
I especially love this:
“But you have NO right to tell me that my child can’t read it in school. And that’s what your attempt at banning a book does. It’s you trying to tell me how to parent my child and you don’t get to do that.”
Great thoughts here!
Sharing for MLSTL
Thanks for stopping by, Trisha. I’m glad you loved the post.
Ridiculous people who think to ban books. Will you ban thoughts next? Every story no matter how horrible you think it is should be told. You can restrict a limit to age appropriateness but don’t ban the book. Great post.
People banning books in schools is a pet peeve of mine. I don’t understand why people are afraid of information, of stories. The theme for this year is perfect.
Love this post a lot Jennifer!
Thanks, Rachael!
Agree…I think book banning is an unbelievably dangerous thing. So dangerous. Makes me a little crazy when I read about people wanting to do this.
Woohoo, great post! Such a slippery slope when we start declaring which stories are to told and which ones to be silenced.
So true. We’ve seen that so many times throughout history.
I wasn’t sure where you were going with this at first – it seemed strange to me that you would be advocating banning books, Jennifer! BUT I *really* like where this post ended up! Well done 🙂
Great post! Allowing books to be banned is a very slippery slope. I’m sharing your wise thoughts everywhere!
Thanks, Monica.