This week I’m pleased to present my friend, small business consultant, blogger and author Jess from Shop Girl Anonymous. She recently published the book, Crash (re) Course to Retail Success a workbook for managers who want to bring their brick and mortar stores into the 21st century. Today, Jess shares how limbo is a state of discontent.
Limbo is that pesky time of pause before an uncertain transition. It’s a time we want to rush through, or even feel a need to repair. But in honesty, if we think about it, we spend more time of our life in limbo than any other state of being. Whether waiting for a package in the mail, that phone call from a friend, or your long lost soul mate to reveal themselves there is always that gut wrenching want for tomorrow.
In my present, I am a woman who took a sabbatical from work to raise her children. As my last child is approaching preschool age there is this unrelenting pang of what’s next. Then I ponder what company would hold any interest in a professional six years out of work? Too overqualified for a sales associate position, too out of touch for management; where do I have to land?
Simultaneously my husband’s executive level career has come to a screeching halt, leaving him in that same state of wonder in a far more pressing manner. We have received bill collection notices, repo threats, and words of foreclosure hang in the balance. As a mother, in this time of limbo, I feel concern for the probable case of the flu in this time of flux without insurance. The VA embraces a passion for limbo in all its glory, leaving us hanging in the balance to the last moment, will they or won’t they offer us assistance.
This is not our first limbo rodeo, nor will it be our last because a lived life is a sea of transition. We embrace the experience because we have learned just how much growth happens when our life feels as if it is on standby.
Don’t Carpe Diem
The feeds that scroll through the palms of our hands are oversaturated with blogs, posts, and images that invade our peace of minds within the confines of our very home. In fact, a large percentage of these posts and blogs will go as far as to attack any form of contentedness that you may be experiencing. Daring you to drop everything, drop everyone, and indulge selfishly. They tell you to live better, and after all those perfect Instagram photos make their vagabond lifestyle seem so solid, so seductive. Now you want what they have, after all, what do you have to lose, you are in limbo.
Or perhaps it’s not as far as the posts of the “live dangerously” type, perhaps it’s those in the same chapter as you; maybe in a different town, different job, different lifestyle. The pictures they share of their routines are edited to illustrate a perfection you so badly crave.
If you follow these externally triggered impulses you are missing out on the gifts your limbo is holding for you. Reserve this pause for yourself, embrace the opportunity to discover a bliss the confines of this Earthly existence cannot fulfill.
Follow this line of thought. Take a moment to breathe as you take in each individual line.
- First I want you to allow that life is not all beauty, love, and happiness.
- Now it is time to take a deep breath and acknowledge that there would be no beauty, love, and happiness without suffering.
- Then you must accept that our suffering is indeed a product of our want for an eternal stream of all things beautiful, lovely, and radiating happiness.
Life is temporary, there is no way around this. Good times are temporary, and we should appreciate them for the time they do last. And then we must remember, that if all of this is true, this suffering will be only temporary too. And now, take one last breath to let it all go, and free yourself from expectation.
Now without images from social media, or ideas influenced by teachers, parents, and friends, what is fulfillment? Remember life is temporary, so you aren’t seeking “success” or “perfection”, and you’re definitely not wasting an excruciating limbo to settle on what gets you by. There is no more opportune moment in life than limbo to get picky and put your own selfish fulfillment first.
Now don’t worry about anything else;
- What does it take for you to achieve this fulfillment?
- What does the journey look like?
- Write out your journey.
- Set reasonable goals and deadlines, because life is temporary.
We return often to limbo, and though it is an excellent opportunity to realign our priorities it shouldn’t take a complete and total pause of life for us to remember to put our own fulfillment first. Create something that will serve as a daily reminder, and keep you focused on your ultimate path.
- Vision Board
- Index card on the mirror with a quick reminder jotted across it
- A symbolic memento on your bedside
My husband has applied to jobs that speak to his passions over his pocketbook. I have published my first book and began the first steps of creating my own consulting business. The wait can be relentless or worthwhile, it is up to us to decide.
Thank you for stopping by and reading Jess’s guest post. You can catch up with Jess at the following: