This is for all the women. It’s great that you have a wonderful relationship with your husbands, but laughing with your girlfriends can extend your life. I was reminded of that the other night. I don’t want to forget it.
There have been dozens of studies about how friendships affect health. And, at 96, my mother and her friends are glorious examples of long-lasting friendship power. Many of them went to high school together. They had dinner parties and game nights and danced (boy, did they dance!) the years away.
As the years passed, they added additional friends to the group and kept meeting, eating, playing cards, and laughing. There are two reasons why friends help extend your life. They remove your sense of isolation which is important as you age. And they improve your mood (also known as making you laugh!)
When I was getting a divorce, my girlfriends took me hiking and then cross-country skiing. I even tried downhill skiing and rolling a kayak with them. All of these things got me out of the house, got me involved in learning something new, and taught me that I can do more than I thought I could.
When my father died, my mother’s friends got her out of the house, too. They took her to the Senior Center to play cards, and when the people at the Senior Center turned out to be old farts, they took her to biker bars. Seriously, picture four white-haired 80-year-old women walking into a biker bar to play cards for money, winning, and striking up new friendships. That really happened. Yes, true to form, they even brought soup when they knew a biker wasn’t feeling well. And they played in the bars for several years until driving at night became too difficult for them.
Nothing beats laughing with your girlfriends. Even after they had to stop playing cards in biker bars, my mother, and her friends, continued to meet weekly to play. All in their 90’s now, they gather (on good weather days) at my mother’s house, tell stories, laugh, and try to play cards.
That’s what I’m doing, laughing with my friends. You need to get out with your friends on a regular basis. You need to laugh and laughing with your girlfriends can extend your life. No lie, look at my mother and her friends.
I’ve always wished I was a “group of girls” kinda gal, I’m more a one to one coffee drinker, but the friends that I have are what have sustained me through many upheavals – and they take the pressure off my husband having to be my be all and end all – I can see your mum and her friends in my mind’s eye and it makes me smile 🙂
I’m so glad for my friends too, although they’re not all girls! 😉
Granted I’m of a different genetic structure than women, but when you go through something as crappy as divorce good friends are irreplaceable!
I honestly believe this is why my mother’s health has deteriorated so much over the last two years. Yes, many of her friends are gone but still quite a few are here. They reached out many times but my mom has pushed them away. Having relationships outside your family to laugh, cry and complain to is huge for mental well being. I hope to laugh with my friends as long as I have breath.
Good friendships are so important to cultivate – no matter how solid your primary relationship is, never underestimate the power of the kind of supportive, active friendships that you describe. 🙂
Yup, this is woman power for you! Thank you for this inspiring post! 🙂
Zaria
Yup, it’s the thing I’ve missed most since our move. This was the toughest winter I’ve ever had.
Now, with the house built, we can get out and meet people this summer, and I have plans. I will not go another winter without sharing laughter with friends. Nothing like it!
So completely totally true. As necessary as therapy…and sometimes even a substitute.
I don’t remember my father without his perpetual laughter. And although laughter did not extend his life, I know he had a life that was bountiful in joy and merry fulfillment! Love this post! “Laughter is the best medicine”