Change happens every day, we all go through it. Some changes are small, some are big and some become challenges. Today, I want to introduce you to Ellen. In the past few years, she’s experienced a lot of change including happy changes and not so happy. In this interview, you learn how challenge makes her stronger.
Can you please introduce yourself, tell us what you do and where you do it?
I am Ellen Best, I took a surprise early retirement at age fifty-four. As of May 2017, the husband and I live in a small village just outside Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk England (UK).
You are currently a writer, was that something you always wanted to do as a child? If not, what did you want to do?
Yes, I was either reading or writing for as long as I could remember. I could put my feelings in a poem or disguise them in the wonderful world of a story. For many years writing was a secret I shared with no one.
In my blog, I write a lot about trying new things and people who start over. When you got remarried at 54 you also moved across the country to Somerset. Can you talk us through the timeline and how you adjusted to two big changes at once?
It was much bigger than it sounds because I gave up work (where I had been for ten years) in September and we moved within a week down to Dorset. We were renting a house to give us time to find where we wanted to be. One week later we returned to Suffolk for respective stag and hen celebrations. From there we flew to Hawaii to marry. It was exciting and scary at the same time.
On top of being married and also moving across the country, you also found yourself in early retirement. Can you tell us why you stopped working and how you adjusted to this change?
Having worked from the age of fourteen, I had been with my first husband since sixteen, married at 21 divorced twenty-nine years and nine months later. This was a million miles away from what I expected. I was shell-shocked when the husband of three weeks suggested it was my time to be spoiled. I can still hear him saying. “We do not need you to work, we could travel and have some adventures of our own … it’s our time now.” Where we moved was pensioners paradise; all geared up for the last place to live. There was very little work and any there was had been earmarked for locals who seem to be being forced further away due to holiday lets and retirement towns.
We threw ourselves into house hunting and six months later purchased a fixer-upper, he restored the property himself so we could live mortgage free. The husband, being not only wonderful but extremely clever, transformed the house. With so much happening and the compromise of living slightly more rural to get more for our money, meant there was no familiarity at all. No time to think or plan my retirement.
I made friends with five people one for each year, lovely friends but it wasn’t enough. I launched myself into my writing, some days I would write for eight to twelve hours straight. During the five years that followed the move, we traveled extensively. I also threw myself into the large garden… not literally but figuratively speaking. We redesigned, dressed and presented the house; it was beautiful. I gave talks to cancer recovery patients, how to find myself again after radical surgery. I presented some active workshops on how to dress your new shape, giving hints and tips to assist both men and women with getting their confidence back. Other than the presentations and workshops I didn’t attract any paying customers as an image consultant. It seems Rural Somerset is not the demographic for my skills. I still gave the service to the recovery group and enjoyed it immensely.
My Father passed away which was tough, I think I kidded myself he was going to be in his favorite chair when we went back … he never was.
We didn’t settle, it was a compromise too far. Each time family visited we would have the most amazing adventures, beach walks at midnight, sunsets watched from the highest point, barbecues and impromptu dancing to old 45’s… then they would leave. Tears and sadness followed undercover of numerous bubble baths, I would fall into a black hole for days. When we returned to visit, we said we were going home, eventually, we did. The husband told friends back home that I was leaping off the pavements, grinning at people, silently begging them to be my friend. So I guess we had tried hard enough.
Recently, you moved back to Suffolk. How did that move differ from the previous one?
Our move back was to a fresh village, one neither of us knew but within the realms of all our family and friends. Now we could feel orientated and hunker down and make a new life. We purchased another home to bring back to life, an old Victorian schoolhouse with a well in the garden. I could channel Jean Brodie as we viewed it.
You missed home while you were in Somerset, now that you’ve moved back home, what do you miss about Somerset?
My few friends, the sea, the views and stupidly enough the anonymity. Oh, and the accent, to hear the west country vernacular is something else. The stories and characters were fabulous fodder for short stories, flash fiction and just to fill my notebooks. We miss the garden we worked so hard on. The river that charged past the bottom during Autumnal storms and bought assorted wildlife when it gently meandered.
On top of all of these changes, you recently found out about a genetic condition which has been life-changing. How are you doing?
I only found out in June, it has been a shocker, not only had I never heard of Haemochromatosis (genetic iron overload) I had the job of informing my four sisters and Mother that they needed testing. Although it is quite common for this to happen what occurred next had me stunned. Not one who is often stuck for words …. As you probably guessed. It was as if I was causing the problem, one sister told me to keep my drama to myself while Mother believed I should not have told anyone; least of all them.
June to December was a round of diagnostic examining, tubes down and up, orifice’s I had forgotten I had were pumped with goo examined by cameras’ and discussed at length. This was an extremely difficult time. I pulled out a book my sister gave me when my marriage failed. ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne, I don’t often talk about my dabbling with alternative ways of thinking, but just sometimes, things out of the blue, out of your comfort zone and your beliefs; work. For a second time in my life, it brought me back, evened my thinking and helped me cope. The husband is wonderful he came to each appointment, remembered to ask what I had forgotten… supported and cajoled me.
The treatment is simple but tough. A pint of blood given once a week until the TSAT drops to 50 and the ferritin sits between 30 and 50. I am almost in that position now having given 22 pints since August. Then the hope is we can keep it there. I will need to have Venesections for the rest of my life. Some days I can’t string my words together, can not tell you the day or what I just said. A bit like dementia. So my writing has all but stopped. I am attempting to resume my blog as there is only so much reposting of earlier work you can do. This brain fog is horrendous for me because I write, but is only one of the conditions this disease brings.
Looking back over your moves and early retirement and your illness, is there anything that you wish you’d done differently or anything that you felt wasn’t working out and you dropped or changed along the way?
I wish I had been stronger and not buckled under the fear of being a nuisance. Four different doctors and three surgeries, over five years have told me nothing was wrong. I went with acute exhaustion, breathlessness, stomach problems, yellow skin, joint pain, I thought I was going mad. We moved back and the first GP to see me recognized the catalog of symptoms … he knew straight away. If we had not sold up, if we had not moved right here, well we won’t ponder but again; everything happens for a reason.
Did you get any advice or help from others while making these moves and going through these changes? What is the best advice or assistance that you got along the way?
Be strong, keep your cup half full and keep laughing. The book has kept me … optimistic.
The husband as always, keeps me centered. You have to have great respect for medical science and our national health, like me, it may flounder but it could be worse.
And to go along with that question, what advice do you have for someone who is going through a big life change like getting married and moving across the country or illness?
Every day is a bonus and if it is tough … smile, because there will always be someone worse off than you. Retirement scared me until it paled into significance. That must tell you we have something to learn each step of the way. I am still me, in fact, I am a better me for all my experiences. My novel is hovering around final edit and once I am able to I will finish it. My dream is to be a published author, see my book on a shelf in the library.
My writing, my humor, and the husband keep me going. As always I keep him on his toes … *sniff* He would not have it any other way.
So watch out world this woman comes up fighting.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
You can find Ellen at the following links:
Blog: EllenBest24
Twitter: @CheshireBest
Hi Ellen what a fascinating and inspiring story. Early retirement sounds great but sometimes it doesn’t pan out the way you think it will. I know that is what happened to me. I’m happy that you have found someone to share your life and in a place where you are both settled. It was also helpful to hear about your illness which I had never heard of before. Enjoy your retirement and thanks for introducing Ellen to us Jennifer! Have a lovely week, ladies xx
Sue form Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
Sizzlesue51 thank you for taking time to read and comment I will be popping over to peruse your blog with interests. ?
This is really an amazing story Ellen! Thanks Jennifer for giving us a snapshot of Ellen’s life changes. A few things – My daughter lives in Somerset and I love the accent and the rural lifestyle, I’ll be seeing her in a week or so 🙂 My father died in January and it is still painful. As well as Parkinson’s Disease he also had the same blood disorder you have (I can’t spell it properly so won’t try) and had to get blood taken regularly. We have all been tested now. A great interview 🙂
I love all these different connections that can be found in blogging. I never heard of this blood disorder before and in one week I now know of two.
I know, it’s such an amazing world and one of the reasons why I love it all so much. I already follow Ellen’s blog but didn’t know much of her story, you uncovered it well 🙂
Thanks. I really enjoy getting to know everyone through these interviews.
I am exposed hahaha!
Thank you for coming and commenting. A Parkinson’s type condition is known to be part of Haemochromotosis along with severe brain fog, extreeme exhaustion, cancers, liver disease and reams of other symptoms. ? It is a metabolic disease but the only treatment is taking the blood. Enjoy Somerset and seeing your daughter. I would love you to come take a peek at my blog sometime soon. Xx have a great week.
I’m a follower of your blog Ellen and enjoy your posts 🙂
Of course you are I remembered after I pressed send … but, I remembered woohoo!??
A really great interview! I wish Ellen all the very best for the future. It sounds like she’s a very brave lady. I think you have to keep positive and have a leap of faith. If you hadn’t moved away you would’ve regretted it. It does make you appreciate Home more when you move away and come back again.
I am pleased you enjoyed it Jeniffer posed a few challenging questions, that’s what made it a good read. I am not brave brave is when you have a choice and do the hard thing anyway … I just get on with it and learn to live around it. Thank you Rachael for taking the time ?
Thank you 🙂
I loved this. Thank you for hosting Ellen on your blog! Such insightful questions and a wealth of life experience shared. I truly enjoyed reading about how Ellen has overcome some significant stumbling blocks only to find so much joy again and again. Perfect, life is not. Filled with new adventures it certainly is.
As my Dad used to say… ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you find another way to live’ If everything was perfect I wouldn’t be me. X
I know that condition, it’s nickname is the Celtic Killer, you are lucky to be diagnosed early enough to manage it. It runs in my husbands family.
My bro in law had to do as yourself with the giving blood, then go alcohol free and carefully manage his diet
Big changes, but you can do it xx
No alcohol, or anything made with white flour, red meat, seafood, vitamin c . All go out the window but my sense of humour stands fast. I may be rusty but I ain’t dead.
Good for you! I have recently had to cut out virtually all fat/oil apart from a small amount of veg oil, and all sugar – including alcohol. Ho Hum
Ah but if you’d cark it by drinking Alcopops you probably wouldn’t bother … right!
This is so real, and I appreciate your perspective on many points, particularly in persevering to get the help you needed. Good for you! And thanks for admonishing others to do the same!
Thank you too for the kind comments. Do pop over and have a read at my place soon. Happy summer to you.
Thank you, Jennifer and Ellen, for sharing such a moving story. Your words ring very true to me, especially “Every day is a bonus and if it is tough.” It has been a pleasure to meet you both here.
Retirement Reflections the pleasure is mine. Thank you for readin. ?
Thanks Jennifer for linking up and sharing Ellen’s story with us at #MLSTL. Such a powerful story and an inspiration for us all. Life can certainly throw curve balls can’t it? Have a great day ladies. Sharing on social media.
Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
Thank you, Ellen and Jennifer, for sharing such a fascinating story. I’m visiting from MLSTL. Stay strong!
Thanks for stopping by Natalie.
Many thanks. Come and see what my place looks
Like soon.
Thankyou Jennifer and Ellen for sharing this story. I loved reading about the life changes as I have also gone through many changes in the past 12 years. I could identify with many of your challenges. All the best for the future. #MLSTL
Jennifer Jones all the best for your future too, thank you for taking the time.
What a wonderfully positive story from Ellen. So many changes and challenges and yet she seems to have found the silver lining all the way through. Her husband sounds like a great guy too – I’m still waiting for mine to tell me that we don’t need me to be working anymore (I’d be a great retiree!) I’m really enjoying this series Jennifer and learning a little bit about each of the wonderful people you interview.
Thanks for linking up with us at #MLSTL and I’ve shared this on my SM xx
Leanne | http://www.crestingthehill.com.au
You would be a great retiree! I’ll be sure to drop a note to your husband. (Wink. Wink.) I’m glad you like this series, I love doing the interviews and find out how/why people went through these changes.
Thank you for the share it is much appreciated. Jennifer poses some tough questions, she knows how to make her subjects reveal. Thank you both. Pop over to my place sometime i can promise a good read. ?
Jennifer, thank you so much for sharing Ellen’s story. And Ellen, thank you for persevering through the brain fog and the fatigue so that you could tell us your story.
It looks like I’ve found two new blogs to read, enjoy, and connect with. I’m so glad you posted on #MLSTL.
I’m glad you stopped by and liked what you saw. I enjoyed your A to Z follow up post!
Thank you for the follow Karen I hope to be back to more regular writing once this round of poking and shoving is over. Please dip in to some of my stories, leave a note or two I respond quick and love to chat ??
Life is a funny thing because it doesn’t always go the way you think it is going to. I am a retired oncology nurse but I know you can’t always count on the first doctor to get things right.
So true. It’s always best to get a second opinion especially if something doesn’t seem right. Thanks for stopping by.
Victoria I don’t blame the doctors it is the lack of awareness that is at fault. With no large drug company behind it it is hard to get funding. We have to be our own advocates. Thank you for all the great work you did without nurses I for one would be … screwed as they say ???
Wow! What a story! TFS! Years ago I was sick for over a year and a half before I was diagnosed correctly. It was such a difficult time in my life; one of the worst!
Wow, a year and a half? That’s such a long time to go without knowing what’s wrong, like with Ellen.
Amy Johnson, the best day was when I knew I was believed, so I feel for you. But you know it will improve my writing having coped, once I am up to writing properly again.
Resilience is the word that comes to mind as I read Ellen’s stories, Jennifer. Both her and her husband rode some rogue waves and they both came out the other side.
Funny how there is, so often, one place that a person will always call Home.
For some, that place called “home” is a location. For others, it’s a feeling. Thanks for stopping by!
Dear agnesknowles thank you for reading though we have some sailing still to do we hope the waves be smoother at least for some of the journey. Xx
Thank you Jennifer and Ellen for sharing this inspiring story. Life is full of so many twists and turns, Finding joy for me is about getting rid of the “What ifs” and “Whys” and focusing on the “Now Whats.” I wish you all the best!
Thanks for stopping by Christie. The purpose of my interviews is to show how people start over or begin again as they go through life. Ellen is a great example of someone who is embracing change and taking it as it comes.
Christie we need to deal with the moment and plan for adventure no matter how small. Fear is about what might happen and not what is. My Dad was a wise man and often said “Don’t look back unless you’re travelling that way
Saw you over at Helene’s blog party. Nice to meet you! You gotta tell me how this whole affiliate links thing works. I’m interested in monetizing!
I love reading other people’s stories, thank you for bringing us this one.
Thanks for stopping by. I only started doing these interviews last August, but they are now my favorite part of my blog.
Belinda I have many stories if you like a good read pop over and visit. I am pleased you took time to read my story. Thank you.
Hi Ellen Best – What a fabulously strong woman you are and how lovely it sounds to get re married in Hawaii at the age of 54. I do hope your book is published soon and look forward to reading it. I loved the line ‘ Retirement scared me until it paled into significance.’ Your story is very inspiring.
Kalpana, I am sorry I missed your comment but you know I often save the best for the ending. Your comment is charming and made sharing all the more worthwhile. Do come over and see my blog soon. Thank you.