I saw the phrase “Discovery begins at 50” and it’s been rattling around in my head ever since. Granted, I’m a few years past 50, but still at the beginning of the decade. And recently I’ve realized that it’s time to do some discovering of myself instead of just going through the motions each day.
How my life looks now is a hell of a lot different than I thought it would be 25 years ago and I know that I don’t want to go into the next 25 years without discovering more about who I am now and figuring out what’s next for me. The person I am today barely resembles who I was. For starters–I have a completely different husband and my 4 year old is now 28. Then I wanted to be a writer of some kind and now, I created a blog to fulfill that dream. Back then, I dabbled in yoga, now I’m a yoga teacher. I used to be a Republican, now I’m a Democrat. 25 years ago, I even dreamed of moving farther north, now all I want to do is move south because I want to be warm.
Which leads me to Next. What do I want to do for the next 25 to 50 years (yes, I’m aiming high!) Am I doing what I need to do or do I need to start making adjustments? And lately, I’ve started to ask that ultimate self discovery question: What will I regret when I’m on my death bed? It’s a question that I never paid attention to in my 20’s. Ha! That seemed so far away when I was struggling to raise a child with ADHD while helping my parents after my father ended up in a wheelchair and working full time. I didn’t have time to think about the future when it was all I could think about was how to get through another day.
But now that my son is grown, now that one of my brothers died too young and now that I’m in my 50’s, that question is starting to resonate with me. Am I doing what I want to do or do I need to start making adjustments now in order to get there? Where do I want to live? Do I want to continue at my current job or try to make writing into a full-time job (something I’ve wanted to do since I was a child.) I haven’t figured out all my answers yet—still a work in progress— but I do know that whatever I do or wherever I go it will include compromise so that both my husband and I can find something that works for us.
What about you? Have you asked yourself the ultimate self discovery question yet? What will you regret when you’re on your deathbed? What are you doing about it?